You can find me here.

Discouraged.

I am ready to go back but I need an $1800 plane ticket

and I am broke.

Lord, please provide!

How do I feel?

I feel nervous.

I feel lost.

I feel alone.

I feel like I have sought my identity in others for far too long.

I feel desperate.

I feel wicked.

I feel unholy.

I feel unprepared.

I feel like I am ready to be with Him.

I feel as if I know nothing.

I feel defeated.

I feel as if i cannot make a difference in this corrupt world.

I feel like I won't know what to say. 

I feel like I don't have enough room in my backpack for all I "need"

I feel sick thinking about the past.

I feel unworthy of his love. 

I feel overwhelmed by his overpowering love.

I feel out of control.

Cool, right? He immediately brought me to tears and shot down those lies. Not only that, but replaced them with truth. Lets try this again.

I feel nervous. Get excited.

I feel lost. You are found.

I feel alone. I am right here. 

I feel like I have sought my identity in others for far too long. Your only identity is in me.

I feel desperate. Rest in me.

I feel wicked. You are righteous.

I feel unworthy. You are redeemed.

I feel unprepared. You are ready.

I feel like I am ready to be with Him in his Kingdom. Bring my Kingdom to earth.

I feel like I know nothing. Thats okay. 

I feel defeated. I am fighting for you.

I feel as if i cannot make a difference in this corrupt world. Just go. 

I feel like I won't know what to say. I will give you exactly what to say. 

I feel like I don't have enough room in my backpack for all I "need." Drop all you have and follow me.

I feel sick thinking about the past. It is as far as the east is from the west.

I feel unworthy of his grace. Get over it.

I feel overwhelmed by his overpowering love. Spread it.

I feel out of control. Finally.

Loosing my grandpa at the end of February was the hardest thing I have experienced. I haven't gone a whole day without sobbing yet and who knows when that will end. He is in the presence of the Lord. His pain is gone. He's completely healed. For all of that I am so so thankful. Does that mean it doesn't still hurt like hell? No. But I have hope. I have so much to thank my grandpa for. He is a huge part of who I am today.

I'm going back to south Asia in August. My time there isn't finished. I am confident in whatever reason the Lord dropped me off, brought me back and is putting me back on a plane there. I don't understand it but I don't think I'm supposed to. 

I'm ready. Let's go.

Change of plans.

As most of you who read this probably already know, I am back in the states.

It was a somewhat difficult decision but my supervisors and I decided it was the best decision to go ahead and come home and go to my grandpa's funeral and deal with it.

Visa rules require that I stay out of the country for at least two months before I can return.

So, I'm going to look into heading back to southa asia is August.

I was offered a position to work at Falls Creek again this summer so I'm hoping through that I will come up with a chunk of the money I will need to return.

Thank you all so much for the kind words and encouragement.

Please, Please continue to pray for the people of south asia.

life.

One Month.

Today marks the one month point of my journey here in south Asia. I could probably write novels of all of the things that I have learned and experienced thus far. I feel so incredibly blessed to be able to be a part of the work going on here. I’m stoked that I still have five more months of this!

Here are a few of the highlights from the first month:

Marching bands in the middle of the night

D- Belly

Eating with my hands (Right not left)

The ever exciting quest in an Auto Rickshaw

Arriving in my city to find a new friend and a Tata but no driver

Riding public transport

Throwing (el)bows on said transport

Fresh fruits & veggies

Elephants walking down the road

Monkey temples

THE Major and her army

Stopping traffic

“It is not possible”

Carb overloading

P90X/BL

Sikh-ing out beards

New awesome friendships

A successful attempt to return something

Mission to make the perfect cup of tea

Biscuit ban

Hitting my knees to the floor before my feet every morning

Midnight construction

Photo booth fun with scoot scoot and Mary

Hilarious moments of being the stupid Americans

Sharing truth via Mehendi

Stumbling my way through foreign conversations

Eyebrow threading (It is paining!)

Seeing bicycle/motorbike collisions

Living in a city for midgets and constantly hitting my head on something

Precious children in GB

Getting peed on by sleeping babies

And needless to say, I’m loving every moment of it.

Today, my baby sister is 13.

Happy Birthday Kels!

Loves.

Everyday.

There are a few things that I can say consistently happen everyday.

A ridiculously loud bird will land on my window sill every morning around 6 and will make loud annoying noises until around 7:30.

I will eat at least one whole package of biscuits (cookies).

[There are only like five cookies in a package... don't judge me.]

I will see at least one cow, one water buffalo and several goats just waling down the road.

I will eat at least one meal with my hand (right not left).

I will be asked for money.

My heart will be broken by a million different sights.

I will walk down the street and life will stop as people stare.

I will have awkward & inappropriate comments made to me.

I will hide behind my HB's (Hater blockers, ya'll).

I will fight against the desires of my very american flesh.

If only  my digestive system could be as consistent.

Today.

Today:

I saw an elephant.

We got approved for ESL!

I ate yummy regional food.

A train was stopped for like forever so everyone 9 and by everyone I mean men)

were just walking through the train to get to the other side.

So we talked an Indian woman into going through before us so we could go through.

Haha.

It was fun. Now, I'm sitting in the office being eaten by mutant mosquitos.

Good times here in SA.

Inception.

I love the movie Inception.

I've seen it about a billion times.

But sometimes here in south asia, I feel like I'm in the movie.

You know that part in the dream when the person who is dreaming, their subconscious starts to figure out that someone else is constructing the dream and then everyone starts staring at them hardcore?

Welcome to my life everyday. 

Ha. 

It's thoroughly entertaining, really.

This morning I was riding solo (with my hater blockers on), trying to figure out a language route

and it just seemed surreal.

I live in south asia.

Business.

Lionhearted.

Lionhearted means brave and determined.

I'm not quite sure that I have lived up to that thus far in my journey,

but I'm trying.

My second day in my city I read:

"Be strong. Take courage. Don't be intimidated. Don't give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He's right there with you. He won't let you down; he won't leave you." [Deut.31:6]
I am not alone.
My God is already here and he is at work.
Maybe I can't fully see it just yet, but HE is 'Striding ahead of me'.
I am daily taking comfort in that.




The past few days have been interesting. Tuesday was one of my roommates birthday, so we made apple pie and went over to A & J's for pizza (our weekly girls night) and then the rest of the team came over for cupcakes, pie, popcorn, ice cream, and all kinds of sugary goodness.
We played taboo.
I'm learning to be a game player. I actually hate playing most games but here, we play them a lot because we can't be out at night and we have no internet/tv.
Good times.


Yesterday was the equivalent to 4th of July here. Almost everything was closed all day but big bazar ( think wal-mart) was having a huge sale and I'm pretty sure the whole city was there. It was PACKED. More good times.


I bought some more Kurtas and Dupatas (shirts and scarves).
It was pretty much 3 for the price of one.
I also bought a saree for special occasions. It was 50% so it ended up being about 2 or 3 dollars.


I'm settling into life here and starting to learn some language.
There is no language school here so we pretty much have to just ask anyone we find that speaks both languages how to say things. It's fun though.


We are starting ESL in 2 weeks or so. We are waiting for approval from out site and the lady who does the approving has been out of town.

PR: ESL sight to be approved and for many people to come.

     Language acquisition.

     Open doors for starting henna storying groups.

     That our aroma would be evident to all we meet.

♥ M

It's a Hard Knock Life for us.

I've debated in wether or not I should sugar coat things

and I have decided not to.

It doesn't benefit anyone and sometime I might just need to 

let it out to someone who speaks the same language as me.

I arrived in my city with a pretty significant fever. Not the best way to start anything. I was still sick the next days so my first few days here were spent in bathrooms and in tears.

Even the smallest things, when in other countries, can just make one super emotional.

I hate admitting that but I'm learning.

We don't have internet in our flat which I know will be super good for me but right now it just seems like a freaking thorn in my side. 

But I digress...

Things will get better and I know that I'm going to be learning so much through this whole semester.

So people don't worry about me. 

I press on.

Ciao.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

It's a very common sound here in south Asia.

In fact, probably the most common sound. It's incessant, in fact.

They don't do it to be rude, they generally are not angry, but it's more of letting the person in front of you or next to you that you are there.

So, that makes it a little bit more bearable.

There is also the ever enjoyable sound of random marching bands in the street.

It's winter time here, which is also prime wedding season,

so the bands are numerous.

Even at 4 am.

The past few days have included Old D (which used to be the center of the city), a few places of various worship, and some awesome sisters.

Parts were absolutely heartbreaking and other so sweet we know that they could only be orchestrated by our father.

Yesterday, was a day that K and I went out on our own and we had a few goals to accomplish. We had some costa coffee and that's were we met some sisters. 

They were so sweet! We hung out for a while, we got to yarp together.

One of them is from the state we will be in for the next 6 months and she taught us some of the local language so we will be a bit more prepared when we land.

It's one of our girl's birthday today so we are going out on the town.

Good things are happening and I'm pumped to see what's in store for the rest of my time here.

I won't have a whole lot of time to blog while I'm at orientation but I will fill you guys in on some of the things I experienced in my first full day in south Asia... well at least the things I remember (let-lag is not so kind).

My day started out with some breakfast...

Then we had some fellowship time,

Orientation (which included a few guest speakers),

Authentic and Oh so tasty lunch eaten with my hands (right not left),

The lunch was super spicy so my mom would have loved it and my dad & brother would have gone down in flames.

We got some  great cultural tips from a national,

rode in a rickshaw to a market for some shopping!

Bought some kurtas and dupatas,

ate some Chinese food for dinner,

had an ever interesting rickshaw ride back to the apt,

washed my hair in frigid water ( for the first time since I got here),

and finally went to sleep.

Today will involve more  and more orientation, more yummy food

and some exploring!

Here's to SA!

♥ M

Day One.

We got in last night around 2 ish and got somewhat settled into our apt. for the week.
Starting orientation today. I'll write more later.

I have quite a bit to do in the next two days! Here is a sneak peak:

Take my dad to work ( He has a broken foot and can't drive)

Hang out with Michael

Mail T-shirts

Deposit money at the bank

Make sure the bank won't freeze my account while I'm gone

Use a gift card for some last minute things

Get my last JE shot

Remember to start taking Malaria meds

Take a book back to OCCC

Visit Lysa

Go to Metro and see Lisa and my other gym buddies

Go to the Dentist

See Shaila

Finish cleaning my room ( so my little bro can move in while i'm gone)

Laundry

Shower.. haha

Probably a last minute wal-mart run for things forgotten

Print some pictures

Use my Starbucks gift card

MOPS on Wednesday morning

Make copies of things like my passport, visa, itinerary

and last but not least...

PACK! 

(That probably won't happen until Thursday morning.)

Today, I looked at my flight itinerary for the first time since I got it, which was good because I'm leaving an hour earlier than I thought. Haha

That could have been bad!

♥ M

I'm writing this from the ever exciting Hobart America.

It's the town in which my amazing grandparents reside.

We just ate mexican food (a family fave.) and are now watching the Thunder game.

My grandma LOVES sports.

Mainly OU (anything) and the Thunder. I can't blame her.. I love it too.

Mainly Basketball.

This post is super boring, I know But i've been instructed by a certain person to not talk about the fact that i'm leaving in 5 days.

So  let's chat about running.

You really either love it or hate it.

There is not a whole lot of in between.

I love it.

I'm not super athletic (obviously) but with running it doesn't matter.

You can be young,

Old,

Fat,

Skinny,

fast,

slow,

and it doesn't matter..

Anyone can do it.

And you can do it for your whole life.

You can do it anywhere.

It requires pretty much no equipment.

Just me and the road... and usually my ipod.

I don't have to pay a membership every month,

or worry if i'm in shape enough to show up,

or even think about what i'm wearing.

It's free.

It feels free.

It clears my head.

All i can hear is my heart pounding, my lungs breathing deeply and the faint sound of the black eyed peas in the background.

So, needless to say i'm excited about running in a new place.

It requires getting up early and probably being looked at like i'm crazy

but it's going to be a great way to explore the city I will now call home.

♥ M

Next Thursday I'm  setting off on a 6 month long adventure. 

Not 6 days, or two weeks or even 1 month...

That's 177 days total.

I'm going to a place where I know no one, 

where it smells weird and the food is spicy,

where the water is dirty, 

where squatting is for more than just exercise,

And I'm SO excited. 

The most common question I'm asked is "Are you nervous?"

No, no I'm not.

Not at all.

Is that normal? Probably not BUT

I have the privilege of being a part of what HE is doing among the people of south Asia.

I am going to be smack dab in the middle of HIS will

and there is no place I'd rather be.

♥ M

i ♥ cuppies.

For almost as long as I can remember I have loved cupcakes wayyy more than cake. I think it has something to do with being able to eat them with your hands.  

Since a few days ago was Shaila's B-Day, I decided to make her some cupcakes (everyone needs a frosting coma at least once a year).

I made her fave. FUNfetti.

They were delicious.

But i'm not biased or anything.

I'm still working on my frosting skills and hopefully I will get a pastry bag in the near future to help with the process.

Side note: I leave in 11 days.

Shut up.

That's all.

♥ M

2011

I'm determined to make 2011 great. The past few years, while they have had moments, they overall haven't been anything to write about. I think I'm starting off well considering the first 6 months will be spent elsewhere. 

There is just something wonderfully liberating about being somewhere that is blind to who you have been.

I've got some goals for this year, but i've gone about choosing them differently than previous years. They are more of just things i'd like to accomplish before 25. They don't necessarily have to happen this year, but I'm not opposed to it :)

Here goes...  I want:

... to take more pictures, so I'm going to try and take a picture a day. Nothing fancy or professional, Just a picture of something each day. 

... to read through the bible this year and realize it's not an obligation but a privilege.

...to run a half marathon.

... to read all the books I currently own.

... to bake my way through a cookbook.

... to get a job I love.

... to find a space of my own.

... to take piano lessons.

... to find community.

... And to blog my way through it all.

So, technically these pictures were taken yesterday but I'm counting them for today.

This is Shaila Harris.

She is one of my favorite people in the world and yesterday was her 23rd birthday.

So, we went for (free) lunch at Panera.

Shaila, in my life, is one of those friends that no matter how long it's been since we've talked, we can instantly pick up right where we left off.

We have traveled to Germany and back, lived on separate continent's for one (soon to be two) semesters, shared very small living quarters, taken spontaneous and stupidly long road trips to visit boys we've liked, eaten enough pei wei to turn asian and talked each other out of making ridiculous and rash decisions.

I can easily say my life would look a lot different without her.

♥ Mallory